Monday, April 15, 2013

It Really Is Tough: Ramblings About Motherhood

Last Thursday, Josh and I brought the children to City Hall to apply for our Passports at 7:30 a.m. Then we dropped him off at work and were able to run some errands. By the time we made it to purgatory Walmart an hour and a half later, there had been enough small skirmishes in the backseat to be fairly discouraging. I was beginning to feel some frustration, as this was only the first stop of the day. What more "fun" did I have to look forward to?

As I was piling my crew into a shopping cart, an older gentleman came over and counted my children, "Three!". Then he encouraged me by saying, "No matter what anyone says, this is THE most important job anyone can ever have." I thanked him profusely. Then I praised my Father. He knew I needed a word of encouragement just then. A reminder that what I was doing was important; would have an impact on generations to come. 

But it was also a rebuke. Because I had been beginning to grumble in my heart about the trials of being a mom. Rather than thinking about how I could encourage my children to love Christ and honor Him, I was too busy wallowing in self pity. I wasn't thinking at all about the generations ahead of us that I could be impacting simply by loving, and blessing, and instructing these three little ones.

Sara Groves began singing "Generations" in my mind to me, "Remind me of this with every decision. Generations will reap what I sow. I can pass on a curse or a blessing to those I will never know..."

The Lord used this man to remind me that my focus had not been correct. I had been setting my eyes on negative things. I immediately thought of Philippians 4:8, which says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

And that verse brought me to think about the Proverbs 31 woman: "An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels... her children rise up and called her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.' Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." 

Then I was able to better focus on the joys and blessings of being able to use ALL of my time and resources to minister to my family. It is a privilege that many American woman have cast off as if it were some dreaded burden to unbearable to even consider. For some, it is a privilege they long to have and yet are not able to.

How dare I complain in my heart! Is that the attitude that I want to model for my girls so that if the Lord blesses them with children, they have the very same complaining spirit? Certainly not!

And there I am, upon my knees again, crying out for new mercies and more grace.

And it is there that I hope to remain always.

(Please excuse the year-old photos...this year's haven't come in yet!)

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